I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
