you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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