Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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