dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
