The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
