you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
