I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
