he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
