he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
