That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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