so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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