I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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