It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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