I'm jealous of your bromance
I wish I only lived at night.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
