is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
