Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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