They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize