I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
