Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
