I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Even the bartender felt bad for me
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize