I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
