erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
