the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
