Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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