I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
