im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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