Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
