ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize