If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
