she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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