There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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