Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she woke up with a sticky ear
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Randomize
