So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
