What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
