I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I AM VODKA MAN
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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