You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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