They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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