Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
