Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
