we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
