i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
