when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
