My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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