you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
