How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
my liver is dry heaving
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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