Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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