She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
