physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
