So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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