I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
