I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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