I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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