Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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