She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
