I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
