What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
