i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
