I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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