you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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